5/10

an accepted state of being

I have grains of fried rice being warmed by my breasts — a souvenir from a day of warm-hearted chaos.

Chaos has become a part of my accepted daily existence. It allows me to find myself in a constant state of self improvement and in tune with the flow of my life with a one year old. Being out in the world today felt like a vulnerable performance of my ability to parent a human being that is in search of her place in the world, as I, another human being in search of her place in the world, find the best way to navigate the ever-changing focus of my mini-me and myself. As I waited patiently for another sister in the Hood of Mothering to join me for an early dinner, I sat on FaceTime, with a friend that finds himself in joy in witnessing my most vulnerable motherhood moments, as he held space and brought comfort to the anxiety and overstimulation that comes with being a mom in public.