My lower limbs barely fill a pair of printed denim that I bought in the later months of my pregnancy. The last time I wore this stitched pair, a squishy lump of skin on both sides of my hip bones spilled out the sides. I was barely able to fasten the C engraved button into the surged loop in the front. More recently, I boldly left the house without a belt resulting in a warm breeze slithering through my crack with any micro movement. The pants, now being held up by a black ribbon, flow loosely to my ankles, flaring over some mint and cream fuzzy dunks that my brother gifted me. The most transformational moment of my life time stamped and ingrained in the fibers of these pants, reminding me of how quickly my body has changed. How quickly it continues to change.
The revelation of impermanence that gathers itself in the thread of textiles, gracefully weaving through the fabric of life to be realized with grief and joy alike, inspires me to move more fluidly and authentically in my own experience. Acknowledging the fleetness of a single second, a single moment, captured or left to be free. I revel in the water-like movement that is demanded of me in a life blessed with a baby with many water placements, though it can often overwhelm the grounded parts of me, washing my sediments farther than they maybe would’ve gone without this little, but very whole guide.
There are many things I would’ve taken much more time to get around to doing if it weren’t for the shock of reality that comes with shifting of organs and bones, stars and ether, co-creating space for a soul desiring the earthly experience. But, there are no excuses for being the most authentic and unique you. There is only more space to expand into.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
Abby xx