Lost In The Sauce

Overwhelm, Purposelessness, Understanding, newfound and lost bliss

My oh my. The days feel like weeks collected into months that make me rethink my existence on the earth plane. All my decisions replaying in my head like the marathons of Harry Potter movies that fill the tv programming over holidays. My skin feels like sandpaper. My nails like fragile shards of glass. My body is beginning to feel the aches and pains that remind me of the impermanence of my survival. The marrow of my bones are hidden inside a shell that screams for rest. My muscles twitch with growth. They spasm from overwork. My eyes fixate on blank walls and surfaces that leave space for nothing but silent trails of mindlessness. No thoughts of anything profound. Just a whole lot of nothing. Dissociation. Even amidst flashlight-lit inner search parties for words that fill my heart with resonance, I come across a limited vocabulary of feelings and experiences.